I walk into BCD Tofu with my head held high and walk directly to the front of the restaurant to be seated.

The waitress asks me, “How many?”

I bravely stick up one finger in the air. I am at BCD Tofu alone. No distractions, just me.

My friend tells me it is a “big problem” my dining alone. I, however, don’t really think it is such a big deal. I was quite looking forward to enjoying a peaceful meal alone my thoughts. Besides if I end up dying alone, I better get used to dining alone.

The waitress leads me to a table for four, I automatically insist on the table for two in the back in a secluded spot of the restaurant.

I plop down my bag (on the empty chair) and sit down with a happy sigh. I then, proceed to talk to my bag. Haha just kidding! I take a glance around the room, it is like Noah’s Ark (couples, couples and more couples everywhere) with just a handful of males dining alone. I think to myself; single?, divorced?, wife is out of town and didn’t make dinner? It doesn’t matter because I am here to fulfill my craving.

I know exactly what to order, the galbi and soon tofu combo.

As soon as I split my chopsticks apart I realize BCD’s potato salad and marinated soybeans are a no show (only offered on certain days). And then a couple gets seated next to me. Egads! Am I going to be stuck next to a couple that cannot stop proclaiming their love for one another? Bleh.

Miraculously, the couple didn’t induce give- me- a- spoon- so- I- can- dig- my- eyes- out- and eat- soon- tofu- simultaneously gross raunchy feeling. You know that dirty feeling you get when you forget to wash your undies and have to do the flip it inside out awkward dance?

But rather the couple is comprised of two friends hammering out details about living together. Why? Because the woman at the table next to me fell for an alcoholic boyfriend, with no job, with no car, whom is also psycho. And she be trying to run away from him, like your mama when she sees the skidmarks in your undies. That woman is leaving him and the details were not pretty.

My peaceful dinner was pretty much shot to shit after this. I’d rather di(n)e alone rather than coupled with psychotic man. (After all, I’ve already had an ex fall off the roof of my apartment building whilst trying to break in through my bedroom window.)

I’ve got 99 problems but a man ain’t one… A psychotic man ain’t one.

BCD Tofu- 869 S Western Ave #2 Los Angeles, CA 90005. (213) 380-3807